THE IRONIES OF WAR

2nd Lt Arun Khetarpal is a household legend in India, well, at least in “fauji” homes. For those less informed, he was posthumously awarded the Param Vir Chakra (PVC), India’s highest gallantry award, in the 1971 Indo-Pak war at Basantar. After the war, Brigadier ML Khetarpal, his father, received messages that a certain Pakistani Brigadier was keen to meet him. Not knowing who he was, Brigadier ML Khetarpal did nothing to encourage the meeting. In 2001, Brigadier Khetarpal- now 81 years old- felt a strong desire to visit his birthplace at Sargodha, now in Pakistan. Some friends in the Foreign Ministry arranged for the visit and at Lahore airport, Brigadier Khetarpal was met by a Brigadier Naser, who hosted him and ensured that Brigadier Khetarpal had a satisfying visit. Brigadier Khetarpal was overwhelmed by the kindness and courtesy of Brigadier Naser and his family. As his departure approached, Brigadier Khetarpal felt that something was amiss, but could not make it out. What was certain was that he would always remember the hospitality and affection of this Pakistani family.Finally, on night before Brigadier Khetarpal's departure, Brigadier Naser said “Sir, there is something that I wanted to tell you for many years. The last few days have seen us come close and that makes my task harder. I regret that your son died at my hands. Arun's courage was exemplary and he fought totally unconcerned about his safety. Tank casualties were very high till there were just the two of us left. We both fired simultaneously. It was destined that I was to live and he was to die. We are trained to do in war what we have to without thinking. However we are humans and sometimes war takes a personal turn. I had thought that I would ask your forgiveness, but I realize that there is nothing to forgive. Instead I salute your son for what he did at such a young age and I salute you too, because I know how he grew into such a young man. In the end it is character and values that matter."
Brigadier Khetarpal was silent. To face the person who killed his son, and also to be enjoying his hospitality is a confusing feeling. He did realize that Brigadier Naser was genuinely wanting, in some way, to compensate for something that he rightly did in the line of duty. Both the Brigadiers retired for the night deep in thought. The next day photographs were taken and Brigadier Khetarpal returned to Delhi. Later the photos reached Delhi with a note from Brigadier Naser that read: "With Warmest regards to Brigadier ML Khetarpal, father of 2nd Lt Arun Khetarpal, PVC, who stood like an insurmountable rock against the counter attack of 13 LANCERS, Pak Army, on 16 December 1971 in the battle of ‘Bara Pind’ as we call it and battle of ‘Basantar’ as you do. There are never any victors in war; both sides lose and it is the families that suffer the most. As someone once said “Wars are created by politicians, compounded by bureaucrats and fought by soldiers”.